15

15 is the number of rubber bands found underneath the couch last night. 13 of my black hair ties, and 2 newspaper rubber bands. My little Mia is much more interested in a hair tie, than any other cat toy. Generally, she puts them in her food bowl.. but, I guess some of them get caught under the couch during the voyage to the food bowl.

#90 - Rent watch all 6 seasons of Sex and the City

I had planned on starting this at the beginning of the year, so that I would be finished by the time to the movie came out.. but at the beginnig of the year, I started my part time job and never got around to it. Last week, I moved all six seasons (which is about 20 dvds) to the top of my netflix list. I recieved and finished the first disc over the weekend.. and I am patiently waiting for disc 2. I should get it today and be finished by the end of the weekend. I guess I will just try to finish the dvds by the time the movie comes to dvd.

The Dreadful Doc Appointment

So, now that I have half way sorted through my tears.. I can actually talk about how disappointed I am with the doctors appointment. Not just with the outcome, but the first impression we got from the doctor.

So we got there.. and it was a bit odd that the reception area was across the hall from the actual office, but no big deal. I fill out my paperwork, and finally get called back. The girl that calls me back says she is helping Angela (I'm like ok? I don't know who Angela is) she gets my weight and blood pressure and puts us in a room, so we sit there for a little while.. and Angela walks in. Come to find out, Angela is the nurse.. but not only the nurse, she is my cousin Jennifer's.. ex boyfriends.. new girlfriend. Needless to say, that was awkward.. but she turned out to be very nice. So, after she got through with the run down of questions she said that Dr. Eduardo would want to come in and talk to us before going over for the ultrasound. So we sat in there for a good 20-30 mins. Finally Angela, came back in and said that the doctor had a delivery and that she would be in soon. So, we said cool. I guess she was running so behind at this point, she felt she had to rush through my appointment.. because when she finally did come in there.. all she said to us was.. are you sure of your last period? I said yes.. and she said ok, let me find out where we are going to do the ultrasound. Then she walked out. I kinda looked at Diego.. and was like.. that's it?!? So, the original girl that called me back comes in and says they are ready for me. So, we walk down the hall and they start the ultrasound. She looked around for a minute and was said, "Look how full your bladder is!" So, she had me go empty it.. and then started over... she looked around for a while and I was desperately waiting to see some glimpse of life.. but I never saw anything that looked like anything to me. Then she started with the questions of.. Have you had any bleeding, spotting, cramping.. and I said no... none at all.. Then she asked if I had any nausea or vomiting.. and I told her very mild nausea but no vomiting.. then she asked very concernedly.. Any breast tenderness? I said YES! and she was like ok.. then she showed us a spot and she measured it.. and told us that it was only measuring about 5 weeks.. and that if I was at least 8 weeks, there should be more formation and a heartbeat. She said she would need to measure my hormones.. to see if they were going up. She never mention what it would mean if they weren't.. and never really explained anything else to us. She told me to get dressed and she left.. and we never saw her again. I was terrified, and confused! I didn't know what was going on.. Angela came back in there and told us that sometimes, fertilization doesn't take place right away, and not to panic yet. Then she sent me back to get my labs drawn. They told me to come back on Tuesday.. so that they can draw more blood.. to compare what they found on Friday. After the lab work, as we were walking back through the office, I asked the girl if we were finished and she said yes. So we left. The appointment went nothing like I had imagined.. I thought we were going to have some time with the doctor.. to get questions answered, and just more information in general. I guess, maybe if there were no problems.. she might have gone over all that with us. I don't know.

Diego and I went to go eat Souper Salads.. and I was looking at the sheet that I had walked out with.. and then I remembered from working at a doctors office.. that I was not supposed to take the code sheet with me, I guess in my state of confusion I wasn't thinking right, but anyway.. I was looking at the diagnosis code.. and saw that it said... Abortion, threatened. After seeing that.. I was crushed. The sliver of hope that I had was gone. I didn't even know what the hell to think. I was more upset than I was before. I couldn't believe that the day I had waited for, for so long.. had turned out to be one of the worse days of my life.

I have so many feelings and emotions running through me.. that I don't really know how to act normal. I'm upset, I'm disappointed, and I'm feeling a little foolish. Foolish, for being so excited, for planning, for picking out stuff, for going to baby stores, for telling people.. when in the back of my mind.. I knew this could happen. I tried to be positive and think, that I was over thinking everything.. and I convinced myself that it was going to be ok. I am trying not to be mopey.. but, I have moments were it's very hard to fake it and be happy. I mean, last week I was saying that I wasn't enjoying being pregnant.. but right now, I would take all of that back. I would give anything.. to have seen the fluttering of our little bean.

Wish I Had Good News..

But, I don't.
All I wanted today was simple peace of mind. But, I didn't get that.. I actually got the exact opposite. I'm really upset right now, and I don't want to get into it because I don't know exactly what's going on. But, basically what they found was a dot that measured 5 weeks, when it should have been closer to 10. They drew blood work to check my hormone levels.. and I have to go in for more labs on Tuesday for comparison. So, until then.. I'm a total mess.

9 weeks

So far, pregnancy is not all I had imagined it would be!! I was thinking it was going to be such a happy, joyous time.. but for the past week or two, I just can't see it that way. I have been cranky, moody, irritable, easily annoyed.. however you want to put it. I don't even like hanging out with me! I am hungry all the time, but nothing sounds good. I've had a headache that won't go away.. and I can't sleep worth a damn! I toss and turn forever and then I wake up several times during the night.. and then I am tired all day at work. I hope it gets better soon! The one positive thing I can say, is that I have yet to throw up. So, I guess that's good.. anyway, we FINALLY have our doctors appointment this week!! I can't freakin' wait! Maybe I'm so moody with a headache because I can't relax! I'm just so anxious to know that our little one is doing good and growing properly and all that stuff. Hopefully, after the appointment I will calm down and be happier! I will post how that goes sometime this weekend.

R.I.P Murphy

Last night, we lost of member of our family :(

Murphy passed away during a routine tank cleaning.

I've had Murphy since 2004.. so, he had a pretty lengthy life for a fish. We could tell his health was fading fast, so I'm glad he is no longer suffering. The tank just won't be the same.

Here is a picture of him in his healthier days. (the black one)

Week By Week

Right after I suspected that I might be pregnant I found this website called Surebaby. I really like the week by week section, it tells me what should be going on with me and the baby. Today starts my 8th week, so this is what is going on with us:

The Baby:

This week of pregnancy your baby is a not even an inch in length, but about the size of a cherry. Your baby's eye lids are beginning to form, but until their growth is complete; the eyes look open. The tip of the nose is present and the ears are forming internally and externally. Your baby's heart has 140-150 fluttering beats per minute- about twice as many as yours! Arms are growing, and wrists and elbows are evident. Your baby's hands and feet are shaped like paddles, while the fingers and toes are beginning to form. Muscle contractions are starting, but early movements aren't noticeable to you, yet.

Changes in You:

Your waistline is likely to have expanded a bit by the end of this week, but the changes are very gradual. Your uterus is about the size of a grapefruit this week.

Happy Mother's Day!

A bunch of people wished me a happy mother's day today.. but I really don't feel like it will be my day, until next year.. but many thanks anyway! Today, all of my family ate lunch at Cheddars and then went to visit my grandma.. it was good to see the fam.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's out there!!

The Raffle at Work

For the past few weeks at work the "Morale Committee" has been promoting this raffle fundraiser they are doing. Several units at work put together themed baskets.. such as a Texas basket, a Spa basket, a Toy basket, a Baby basket, a Tea Time basket.. there were about 10 of them. I looked over them and considered buying a ticket for the baby basket.. but it didn't look that great. Tuesday of this week (the day before the final day) they put out another baby basket that was MUCH better! and I thought.. well heck, the raffle is almost over and this is super cute.. I probably have a good chance of winning it. The tickets were a $1 each or $4 for 5.. so I bought 5. I kept an eye out to see how many other tickets were put into the can.. and by the end of Wednesday there was a bunch of tickets in there.. I thought damn! I'm not going to win after all!

Today was the drawing.. and I'll be damned if I didn't win the basket!! I'm proud of it! It has some cute stuff.. 2 baby blankets, a fun link toy, powder, body wash & lotion, bibs, even flo bottle, socks, pacifiers, wipes and a toy monkey.. all for the bargain price of $4 and I helped out our Morale Committee! Here's a pic of my winnings!

Never Going to Grow Up!

I've decided that I don't have to grow up if I don't want to! haha What I mean by that is, I still watch MTV & VH1 regularly and I have since I was like 10.. and I really don't see myself stopping anytime soon! A lot of people complain because Music Television doesn't play music anymore.. but who really cares! They are showing quality (and I use the term quality loosely) TV.. My favorites include, but are not limited to: Marathons of America's Next Top Model, The Hills, The Real World, All of the Real World Challenges, Miss Rap Supreme, Rock of Love, Flavor of Love,The Serial Life, Celebrity Rehab (I think Dr. Drew is hot), My Fair Brady.. you name it, I watch it!

I'm not sure what made me post this blog, I guess because I got really excited that Flav brought back Thing 2!! Yes, I know his nicknames are pretty degrading.. but those chicks are dumb anyway..

Point Being.. as long as MTV & VH1 continue to put on crappy reality shows.. I'm going to continue tuning in!

By the way, I don't just limit my reality tv to MTV & VH1.. I still watch all the regulars on the main stations too!

Pregnancy Update

There really isn't much of an update here.. because I really haven't experienced many changes yet. Of course, my boobs hurt to the touch and speed bumps are killer! but, as far as morning sickness goes.. I'm doing just fine. This week marked my seventh week, and I've read that it should have started on the sixth week. Now, that does make me a little nervous because it seems not normal.. but, I am just going to wait and see what my doctor says.. my appointment is still 2 weeks from Friday! Another thing I have noticed is every time I eat.. I feel like I could just lay down and go right to sleep! I've been taking naps on my breaks at work, which help out a lot!

For my birthday, Diego got me The Belly Book. It's a scrapbook for my pregnancy and I can't wait to get to work on it! Which means taking weekly pictures of myself.. which is neat because I don't think my belly has grown, but maybe I will be able to tell in pictures!

Birthday Camping

This past weekend we went camping at Emma Long Park over off 2222. It was a birthday camping trip for Joey and I since our birthdays fall close together (the 4th & 6th). It was a decent experience.. but not as fun as our December camping trip. I wasn't much of a photographer this weekend.. these are the only some what descent pics that were taken. Here is Diego setting up our tent..

We ate a lot of fajitas, boy.. I am done with fajitas for a looonng time! Just the thought makes me wanna puke! Which sucks.. because I really liked fajitas! I made some jalapeno sausage bacon wraps which turned out to be a hit! Here is my work in progress..

I pretty much got no sleep that night.. my feet were freezing and my air mattress went flat over night. At some point, I went to sleep in my car.. which really wasn't much better. It seemed even colder in there.. and I couldn't really stretch out so.. I was pretty miserable.

I found out that pregnant camping is not much fun! oh yeah.. then, when I woke up and I was 25!! Here is me eating eggs & bacon the next morning.. excuse the smoke from our left over fire..